How many coaches know the names of the kids they coach?
All of them? Probably
How many coaches can tell you the names of the parents or guardians?
Most of them? Maybe
How many coaches know the siblings of the players even though they never come to watch them train?
Every coach? Most definitely not!
When you take on a new player, it’s not only just to coach but you are getting involved in their lives! How many of you can remember you first ever tennis coach?
I can, my first experience of tennis was an after school club at my primary school and it was run by Sammy and Elaine on a Wednesday and I loved it.
Soon after starting it was noticed that I had a knack for tennis! If it wasn’t for the coaches of that session then I would have packed tennis in there and then. By the end of my first session both Sammy and Elaine had asked about me and made me feel more like a player than a pound sign. That was nearly 23 years ago and the impact they had means I still remember and still say hi to them when I visit home, and, more amazingly, they still remember me!
That is the biggest challenge to me, can I remembers players I coached 2 years ago? How can I possibly remember players after 20+ years when I struggle now?
I fear that this type of mentality is not emphasised enough to new coaches, that these players are more than just pound signs, they are individuals! Of course we remember the better players but what about the non hitting beginners on a wet Tuesday evening when you are cold and soaking? What are their names, do they have hobbies, any siblings? Can you engage them all on topics that relate to them as individuals or is everything general… How was school today guys? How about… How was your guitar exam Tommy? Or, Polly, how was your friends birthday party?
Players that are treated as individuals and that feel like they matter will come back! You don’t get paid extra for this but it will help during sessions as players will respect a coach that knows them as an individual!
Would you rather be treated as an individual or just a pound sign in a t-shirt?
Challenge for any coaches reading this…learn all the names of players in your smallest group and one other hobby apart from tennis, then the next group and so on!
Hope this helps in your coaching path, just try going that extra mile, you might enjoy it!
samcoaching 
Hi Sam. I have been debating this idea with other coaches who I am training – how much info do we get to know as coaches? There are two sides, we need to protect ourselves from becoming too personally involved in our athletes lives just like teachers are being advised not to befriend their students on FB… it is a fine line. Yes to knowing the names of athletes but names of parents, siblings, hobbies? Beyond recognition for any security concerns or injuries… I actually try to protect the personal life of the athletes and allow the training sessions to be about the sport as opposed to what is happening in school or family life. My older athletes look to training as a break from the rest of their lives too. The sport becomes a safe haven. BUT everyone knows that they can talk with me about anything! Well trained coaches are in in a position that can recognise mental or physical issues too… and must be proactive if something does not seem right. – Kelea
I completely agree, there is a limit to how much we should know and want to know but seeing as we need to connect to players and when long term coaching relationships with top players then a bond needs to be created.
Due to so many convictions and accusations coaches need to be extremely careful how they connect with players compared with years gone by however the coach should never form a bond with younger players and not the parents/guardians.